Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
