I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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