how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
