The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
