I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
