make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
