Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
