I don't usually arrange sex via text message
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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