that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
