My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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