OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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