a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize