at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
