Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
