My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
