New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
