i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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