were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i came on her dog
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
