You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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