Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
