Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
