new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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