I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
