everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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