Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
