I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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