I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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