Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
