So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
