Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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