I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Randomize