My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
