Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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