Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
