Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
