I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
