Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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