please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you have to choose: penises or morals?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
