I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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