Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
