Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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