I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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