I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is wine microwaveable?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
