rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize