That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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