hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
