I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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