i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
