i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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