you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
