I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
