You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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