That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
