so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
