Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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