I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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