I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
