Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
