A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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